Remain calm everyone. S.S. Coachella will be setting sail this December on two trips through the Bahamas and Jamacia, with none other than the legendary DJ Harvey and Hot Chip aboard, as well as Girl Talk, James Murphy, Cloud Nothings, Black Lips, Pulp and The Gaslamp Killer to name a few. Set aboard a luxury liner boasting a 'plethora of dining facilities', the 'Celebrity Silhouette' has twelve different restaurants from classy French to Tuscan; nine bars and clubs; a spa; a salon; a beer tasting course; gym; casino; shops; library (maybe some of the guests can have DJ Harvey read aloud to them?); ILounge; Yoga and, of course, what everyone needs on board - a Persian Garden. Oh and it also has a pool deck, a silohuette theatre, a sky lounge and a lawn deck. There's some additional land excursions too.

Right. So. Bearing all that in mind, you need $250 to start off your payment plan, and probably a minimum of $1,000 spending (call it $2,000), S.S. Coachella isn't the only festival to pop up that's drowning in luxury and requires more funding than Charlie Sheen's substance problem. With the introduction of Groovefest in the Dominican Republic, which is headlined by Jamie Jones and The Martinez Brothers, we're wondering if anyone has told these people we're in a recession. That said, whoever's got a spare few coppers lying around for the 'I want to bump into TuPac's hologram on board a luxury cruise ship in the Bahamas' Fund, you know where to send them.
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